úterý 22. února 2011

Stupně hrozby terrorismu pro letošní rok

Tentokrát opět trochu nevážně, následující text je vypůjčen od Johna Cleese, člena populární humoristické skupiny Monthy Pythons;)


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

2 komentáře:

Miroslav Kalous řekl(a)...

Perfektní :-) A česká varianta? Nic lepšího než toto mě nenapadá:

Češi by opět nejradši z úrovně "opruz, o nějž se musíme zajímat" přešli na "celkem v pohodě", ale mají pocit, že v alianci by to vypadalo blbě. Mimo zmíněné dvě úrovně už Češi žádné další nemají, protože v takových situacích, které by další úrovně vyžadovaly, už za Čechy obvykle rozhoduje někdo jiný.

Aldeberan řekl(a)...

áno, barbeque je naozaj veľmi dôležitý faktor v austrálskej zahraničnej politike, ako dokazuje aj toto video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RenRILqwhJs